thinking about the guy on reddit that posted a pic of a giant water bug he put on his arm after flipping it over because it was on its back
the sequel: tarantula hawk in an open cup
wheres that pic of the person holding a blue ring octopus?
this is the only image on these internets that has ever seriously made me scream out loud. these things are like, among the most lethal animals on the planet
“MSG tricks your brain into thinking food tastes better.”
Yes, Brian, that is the essential function of spices and flavorings.
“Actual spices” - msg is monosodium glutamate. It is found in nature. It’s in fucking tomatoes. The reason it has such a stigma against it is due to - surprise! - racism and xenophobia, since it’s primarily associated with asian cuisine even though msg is in a wide variety of American foods as well, both naturally or as artificial flavoring. Is it possible for too much msg to kill you? Yeah, sure, but the same goes for table salt as well.
There’s this theme or idea I want to write about but I can’t figure out how to express it. Like a kid had a grand mal seizure in class last semester and there was a girl there who knew what to do and started ordering everybody around and it turned out that she just took a first aid class one time.
So imagine there’s some demon shit going on nearby. A rent in spacetime has opened up and eldritch ooze is leaking from a nearby hell-dimension. And you need someone qualified, a priest or a preacher or something, to deal with that shit. So everyone’s asking, “Is anybody here a man of God? Are you a man of God?”
And some guy gets up and is like well ive been an agnostic for 15 years but I did some preaching back in the day and they’re all like “YOU, MAN OF GOD, WHAT DO WE DO?”
My dad was a pastor and in the years since people have still asked him to do weddings and funerals on occasion.
I just want to write about that situation of suddenly being the most qualified person in the room for something but also the amateur, rusty, duct-taped version of the holy and sacred. I have this idea in my head of a world where some people don’t have a religious bone in their body but they can recognize a situation where you need a man of God, and they seek out the closest thing they can find, even if it’s some guy who hasn’t done any preaching in 20 years.
i think part of it is just how this sets up so many funny inter-cultural interactions. Like in my class this morning my prof was talking about how Confucianism doesn’t really vibe with that demon and ghost stuff, but if you were a follower of Confucianism and you were having ghost or demon problems, you would go find a Daoist to deal with it and that is SO FUNNY to me.
Also just like, I’m imagining an ex-pastor who doesn’t really even go to church anymore being sought out by like, a couple teenagers who are like “we need a man of god and we heard you were a man of god so”
and this guy is like, do i explain my complicated relationship with faith to them?? how?
so he goes with them and there’s like this. portal to hell or something in a basement somewhere and the kids are like “okay now do your thing”
and he walks up to the demon crouching there and is just. tries to remember a scripture or something but can’t and it lunges at him and he just reflexively punches it in the fucking face
and it WORKS and the demon screams and scurries back into the portal and the kids are staring at him in terrified wonder
FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van
UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist
USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth
Is this…shipping discourse?
Amazon once threw a package at my door and then took a photo while it was midair. Not sure where that fits in this schema but I did want to tell y’all about it.
The tsunamis from the Theran eruption devastated Crete, weakening the then-powerful Minoan civilization, leaving them open to being invaded by the Mycenaeans.
The volcanic winter it created devastated crops in China leading to the fall of the Xia Dynasty.
The abrupt and catastrophic loss of the people of Thera may have also inspired the myths about Atlantis.
if anyone wants a full list heres how they happened:
basically they all stem from a massive eruption of a volcano on the island of santorini off the coast of greece. the ash then floated over to egypt which kickstarted the plagues
1) blood: the ash carried the mineral cinnabar, which has the capability of turning water red
2) frogs: the ash also had many toxic and acidic substances so naturally, all the frogs are gonna flee the river
3) lice: given what was going on insects would have burrowed into dead animals/peoples skin and laid eggs, which then hatched
4) beasts: everything is getting poisoned from the ash and toxins, causing animals to freak the fuck out/die
5) pestilence: toxins again
6) boils: the ash would have caused storms that carried acid rain which when it fell, would irritate peoples skin causing boils
7) hail: the storm again
8) locusts: again with the insects and the amount of dead bodies and such which attract more insects. a lotta insects basically.
9) darkness: the ash covered the sky, blocking out the sun
10) slaying of the first born: given that children’s bodies were found in higher numbers than others, some archeologists think they may have been sacrificed to stop all the destruction, but they aren’t 100% sure about that. this is just me but I would say another possibility is that babies/kids are a lot more susceptible to toxins and shit, so while an adult may have been fine or gotten a bit sick, it might have been very dangerous/deadly for kids or babies
the volcano would also attest for the parting of the sea weirdly enough. the red sea was in fact the ‘reed’ sea, and was very shallow, probably waist deep or so. given the amount of shit dumped into the ocean from the volcano, this wouldve caused a tsunami to head towards egypt. the water would get sucked out from the reed sea right before the tsunami hit, letting people pass it easily, then the actual tsunami would hit, fuckin up anyone who tried to follow.
another theory is that the red water was caused by algae, which would cause the frogs and stuff to jump out as well. the algae also carried substances toxic to animals so if they ingested any they’d get sick and die, so more insects. in this theory there was a sand storm coincidentally that caused the rest
Fun fact! Water actually turns “blood red” when it is contaminated by sulfur creating sulfuric acid. And scientists have discovered that around the time of the plagues a volcano went off that disturbed Egypt’s environment. So the plagues are scientifically proven. The other parts of the plagues are explained by the sulfuric acid river making the animals leave the river and escaping into the human population.
I love that if you really boil all this information down, what you get is something approximating “the sinking of Atlantis caused the 10 Biblical plagues of Egypt” which is, like, one of the greatest mythological mash-ups I have ever heard of.
everyone always talks about how link (and sometimes link and zelda) are lgbt all at once but what about morticia and gomez. bi4bi. t4t straight couple. butch/femme couple. a drag queen and his devoted husband. “is it a boy or a girl?” “It’s an ADDAMS!” I mean CMON people
okay not sure how to approach this gently but say that, hypothetically, you own some essential oil sprays purchased from a huge department store chain. and there is a recall because they contain deadly disease causing bacteria that has confirmed deaths and has infected and killed who knows how many people because of how rare and difficult to diagnose it is in the united states:
do not throw out the bottles. do not dump the product in the toilet. do not allow the deadly bacteria into the soil, water supply, or landfills. it is an extreme biohazard. do not throw it out. do not throw it out. do not open the bottles.
put on gloves, double bag it tightly in resealable bags, put it in a cardboard box, and give it back to any of the chain’s stores. disinfect everything in the room where it was used while wearing gloves. wash sheets and blankets on hot. consider using bleach.
84140411420 Better Homes and Gardens (BHG) Gem Room Spray Lavender & Chamomile
84140411421 Better Homes and Gardens (BHG) Gem Room Spray Lemon and Mandarin
84140411422 Better Homes and Gardens (BHG) Gem Room Spray Lavender
84140411423 Better Homes and Gardens (BHG) Gem Room Spray Peppermint
84140411424 Better Homes and Gardens (BHG) Gem Room Spray Lime & Eucalyptus
84140411425 Better Homes and Gardens (BHG) Gem Room Spray Sandalwood and Vanilla
these products are being recalled for burkholderia pseudomallei contamination, which causes melioidosis. it can infect pets.
without early treatment, melioidosis caused by the bacteria in these products has a higher than 40% mortality rate. it can easily kill you and will hurt the entire time even if you survive. treatment takes several months and involves intensive intravenous (IV) antibiotics and potentially surgery. there is a high rate of recurrence, long term injury, and disability even with survival. this is not a condition with simple diagnostics or treatment, this is not a painless condition, this is not a condition that is easily survived, and survival involves spending weeks to months in a hospital. in the best case scenario, with immediate diagnosis and treatment, mortality rate is 10%. it can cause growths on organs, septic shock, sudden paralysis, solidification of the lungs, pneumonia, sepsis, joint infection, bone infection, and so much more.
melioidosis can also remain latent for decades after bacteria exposure.
the bacteria infects people through inhalation, cuts in the skin, and ingestion. since this is an air spray, that is very bad. this is a bacteria so deadly that it and related bacteria have been used in war. do not fuck around with this
i used to not like badmouthing cgi bc i dont like to sound like a cranky grandpa but im sick to bastard death of effects all being cgi. i think it should only be used for bowling alley screen animations
if i wanted to see a bunch of cgi id go bowling & watch a little poorly rendered bowling pin dressed as elvis blow up my car for getting 14 gutter balls in a row
